


Shoot Me Many Times

by Fireking55



Series: November 2020 Oneshots [2]
Category: Fate/Grand Order
Genre: 11 pm is still within the day, Fluff, I've not failed yet, Medb and Blackbeard show up, but don't have any lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27361717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fireking55/pseuds/Fireking55
Summary: Putting a kick-me sign on someone will get them kicked. A kiss-me sign will get them kissed. Putting a picture of King Arthur on someone's back? That will get them shot many, many times.
Series: November 2020 Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996318
Kudos: 6





	Shoot Me Many Times

“ARTHURRRRRR!”

Chaldea’s master prepared for many things to happen during her day. Whether it be one of the servants needing help with something, one of the servants creating a mini-singularity, one of the servants creating a major singularity, or the rare case of a problem arising on its own accord, Gudako liked to think she could handle everything that could be thrown at her.

As is usual, one of the servants proved her wrong.

The culprits in this case were Lancelot (the berserker version, as the saber version hadn’t been summoned) and Blackbeard, who was currently running away from the maddened knight, as someone had put a large picture of Artoria’s face on the back of his head.

As Lancelot ran past her in his chase, she realized that he was holding a mini-gun. Not wanting Chaldea’s hallways destroyed, she used one of her command spells.

“Lancelot! By this command spell I order you, stop chasing Blackbeard!” She shouted, feeling the mana rush out of the seal and into Lancelot.

Lancelot slowed to a halt, and as Blackbeard vanished around a corner, the berserker turned to face his master. A low growl showed his displeasure at the command, but he made no move to continue the chase.

“Lancelot...” Gudako started, staring at the still present mini-gun. Getting the hint, Lancelot let it disappear. With a smile, Gudako continued, “Great! Now we just need to find out who put that picture on Blackbeard.” As she started walking forward, Lancelot just stood still. “You’re helping me.” Gudako clarified. With a sound that might of been a huff of displeasure, Lancelot started following his master.

Their first suspect was Mephistopheles, who, after asking around, they learnt was last seen entering Avicebron’s workshop. Standing outside the room, Gudako knocked on the door.

“You may enter.” A muffled voice responded. So they entered, and saw Mephistopheles tied up with both Avicebron and Medb standing over him.

“Ah, master. Medb was just helping me restrain this subject. I’ve been meaning to study”, Mephistopheles face saddened at the word, “his construction for a while.” Avicebron stated, betraying no emotion at the strange scene he made. Medb made to speak, but then she spotted Lancelot, and decided that it would be wiser to leave the room.

As she left, Gudako spoke up. “Well this makes things easier!” She finished with a smile.

“Makes what easier?” A perplexed Mephistopheles asked.

“Interrogating you.” Gudako replied.

A look of fear spread across the bound homunculus’ face, though whether from his master’s words, or the fact that he just noticed Lancelot, none could say.

“About what?” The homunculus asked, his face returning to it’s usual grin.

Gudako started talking. “Earlier this morning, someone put a picture of Artoria”, Lancelot let out a low growl at the name, “on Blackbeard’s back. Lancelot noticed and I had to use a command spell to calm him down.”

Mephistopheles smiled before commenting. “As much as I’d love to be responsible for that, I’m not. I’m fresh out of Artoria”, another growl from Lancelot, “pictures. That’s why I’m here actually.” He finished with a glare at Avicebron. Seeing the confusion on his master’s face, Avicebron Explained.

“Last week Bedivere asked me to print some pictures of his king. I printed more than he asked for so i had some lying around my workshop. I was reminded of them when Atalanta passed by today, so i had her tell this homunculus of them. As you can see, it has worked marvellously well.”

A moment passes as Gudako processes the information. When she realizes what it means she blurts out. “Who did you give a picture too!?”

Avicebron calmly replies. “Bedivere took three pictures last week, but the only one I’ve given out this week was too Atalanta...” Avicebron’s speech slows to a halt as he realizes what happened. “She said she was going to the simulator after she talked to Mephistopheles.” Avicebron adds

Having gotten what they came for, Gudako and Lancelot rushed out to the training room, leaving Avicebron and Mephistopheles alone. What happened next is a story that shall stay in that room.

As Gudako and Lancelot reached the entrance to the simulator, Gudako explained her plans for the huntress to the maddened knight. Gudako was certain that he was grinning underneath his helmet.

The door to the simulator opened, and they could see Atalanta setting it up. She turned around to greet the newcomers. “Hello master, Lancelot.” She said warmly.

“Hi.” Gudako replied, walking closer to the huntress.

“What brings you two to the simulator?” Atalanta asks, eyes drifting from her master to Lancelot, who was still standing by the door.

“Lancelot almost got in a fight.” Gudako answered, as if it was something that happened everyday.

“Why?” The huntress, a pinch of nervousness in her voice, asks.

“Someone stuck a picture of Artoria”, a growl from the doorway showed that Lancelot was listening, “on a servant’s back.” Gudako finished.

“I’m sure whoever did that to Blackbeard had-” Atalanta was stopped by her master’s smile.

“Caught you.” Gudako replied happily.

“I-I, Blackbeard was being Blackbeard!” Atalanta stammered with embarrasment.

“I get that, but Lancelot was holding a mini-gun to shoot him with! We don’t have the resources to repair Chaldea!” Gudako replied.

“I may have overreacted...” Atalanta realized.

“Good”, Gudako started, “but you still need to be punished.”

“H-how?” Atalanta asked, her checks faintly flushing.

“By this command seal”, Atalanta closed her eyes as her master lifted the tattooed hand, “Atalanta, fight Lancelot in the simulator!” The mana flowed from the seal to Atalanta as she opened her eyes.

“WHAT!?” She yelled, terrified at having to face the berserker.

“Have fun~.” Gudako sang, leaving Atalanta and Lancelot to their fight.

**Author's Note:**

> Two days in and I haven't failed yet. Yeah I uploaded it at 11 PM but it still counts.
> 
> Today's servant was Atalanta, so you can tell how well that plan has gone.


End file.
